Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize