I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
