My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
