bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
