What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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