Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It was confusing and full of hummus
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
