why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
