And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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