he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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