I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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