I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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