Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
