Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
