he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
