I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
