Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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