You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize