I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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