I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
