I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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