Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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