am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I cockslap morals
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the day after is always just damage control
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
