Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize