i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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