The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
