there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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