There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
