so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize