I will die if light touches me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
