he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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