four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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