I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
