You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
