I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize