I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
