Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
