Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
