i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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