when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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