just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
