"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
