How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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