dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
