wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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