How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
