But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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