dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
