kristin has been a bad kristin
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
