Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
