brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
then he tried to convert me to islam
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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