i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize