Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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