I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
