Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
