I think I am morally bankrupt
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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