I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
