good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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