At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
