I can tuck mytits in my pants
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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