you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
