But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You are a genius and a whore.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
