hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
only you would photoshop your dick
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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