the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize