I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
