What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize