Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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