he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
