We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
